Living with an… Alfa Romeo Tonale (Month 5)

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Month 1 – Italian flair Month 2 – More power please! Month 3 – The key to a mystery Month 4 – A painful cracked Tonale Month 5 – A break from the Tonale

I’m a single mum with two boys (11 and 14) plus a dog. We are part of a blended family with my partner and his two boys (14 and 16), so life is chaotic, with people coming and going in the car all the time, and lots of stuff going in the boot. I use it for a mixture of local trips and long motorway journeys for work each week. We have off-road parking with a home charging point for cheap overnight charging of the battery in this plug-in hybrid.

Erin says: "I adore the massive brushed-metal flappy paddles on the steering wheel, and find myself changing gear when the automatic transmission is trickling along quite happily, for the hell of it."

How much has it cost you?

Very, very little this month because nearly all my driving has been local, so I’ve been charging the battery at 6p per kWh to give me 37 miles a charge for about a quid. It looks so good though, I’ve already taken it through the car wash which cost a tenner, because that paint work is the business and needs to shine at all times.

Where have you been?

School run twice a day (three miles in each direction), train station for work twice a week (same distance) and supermarket (ditto). However, in the middle of all this low-motoring bliss, I drove with the boys and dog to Penzance, from Tunbridge Wells. That was painful, because as soon as you see that battery range disappear (which happened before we even hit the M25), you know you’re just using the fuel to lug a really heavy dead battery about. And while I’m religious about charging every night at home, I cannot be bothered to stop every 40 miles to charge the little battery at an expensive motorway services where I might have to download an app. So I just sucked up the expense there and back.

What have you been carrying?

My 14-year-old son owns the biggest cricket bag you’ve ever seen, into which he rams bat, helmet, pads and about 150 hard balls, which alone are probably costing me 10 miles per gallon in fuel. We seem to lug it to practise and matches all week. Bring on winter. The dog is the other major weight in the boot - 30kg to be precise (sorry Milo). Must get him on a diet. Luckily there is an electronic boot that rises with a double click of the key.

Delights?

We all approach the Alfa smugly when it’s parked - Alfas have a way of reflecting well on their owners; like Saabs and Caterhams, they suggest you actually know something about cars. I adore the massive brushed-metal flappy paddles on the steering wheel, and find myself changing gear when the automatic transmission is trickling along quite happily, for the hell of it. The wireless phone-charging pad is a relief, too, because someone always nicks my charging lead.

Frustrations?

I have wondered on occasion whether Alfa swapped the throttle pedal for the brake pedal, such is the total absence of any acceleration when you try to shift it. Never has 280 horsepower felt so redundant. I wish, too, that when the engine kicks in to support the battery, you get at least a whiff of that cylinder-enhanced excitement. It just doesn’t feel right to have such a gutless Italian car. Still, I guess we’re all trying to do our bit for the planet.

This month in a nutshell

Proud to be driving a car from such a cool Italian badge, echoed in the styling inside and out. Just frustrated by that weak performance from the hybrid powertrain. Back to top

Erin says: "The lack of power really is quite something. I've never driven a plug-in hybrid with absolutely no discernible difference from the addition of the engine when you put your foot down."

How much has it cost you?

Tuppence ha'penny. Hardly anything, because I use it for all our local trips, so get through the 37 miles of electric range every day, then plug it in every night, where it charges at a rate of 6p per kWh, as opposed to 50-90p at a public charger. That's under a fiver in total. On the other hand, I think a Dart charge penalty is winging its way to me for forgetting to pay to cross the Thames.

Where have you been?

School, shops, train station, supermarket and the tip. A few school football matches an hour's drive away, which has taken the car beyond the battery remit and eaten into the petrol tank, but that's one a week.

What have you been carrying?

We removed the parcel shelf, took out the charging cable and put the back seats down on consecutive weekends to take two boot loads to the local tip. Heavy objects removed from our safekeeping and piled into the Tonale in one go included saucepans, plant pots, curtain rails, knackered suitcases and one bike. Forgot to take a photo though, so points deducted.

Delights

It's amazing how the smallest things make the biggest difference: Alfa has worked out that the most annoying/dangerous safety feature in a modern car is the lane-departure warning function, which steers you back into the lane when it thinks you're about to go over the line accidentally. The car hardly ever gets it right (this isn't unique to Alfa), so the first thing drivers look for every time they start the engine is the off button, which is normally buried in three sub menus. Not so in the Tonale, where you simply have to push the button twice on the end of the left steering-wheel stalk. Phew!

Frustrations

The lack of power really is quite something. I've never driven a plug-in hybrid with absolutely no discernible difference from the addition of the engine when you put your foot down. I also don't understand why, given there's a button that allows you to save your battery power for when you want it (eg driving in London), there isn't also a button that allows you to save petrol and make your car go through its battery power first. If I've hardly got any fuel in the tank but a full battery, I don't want the engine kicking in on a 10-mile drive.

This month in a nutshell

It's still a beauty, and is costing us peanuts during a normal week of mostly electric driving, but I'd like a smidgen more power please. Back to top

Erin says: "Turns out there’s a tiny spare fob which has been in the cup holder, unspotted (it’s that small) since the car arrived at ours, and which acts as a spare key"

How much has it cost you?

Well, one could argue that it almost cost me the entire cost of the car this month, because it turns out it’s been remarkably easy to steal (but isn’t now, in case you’re thinking about it…). But more of that below. Luckily, the only costs incurred have been £60 in petrol and about the same again in nightly charges at home which have been enough for the daily local trips I’ve been making. The petrol expenses are from two trips to Gatwick for a work trip. Oh, and a ton of Ringo parking costs for the train station carpark, even though if I was less lazy and thought about putting cash in my car, it would be cheaper.

Where have you been?

The airport, as above, and the coast, which is 40 minutes away, for a couple of autumnal beach dog walks (note to self: must clean boot) plus the usual school shuttle twice a day. One boatload to the tip, too, and a couple of “away” football matches at the weekend for the boys. Oh, and one short trip at 1am to meet a school coach for an early departure to Porto on a football academy trip. Which is where we discovered the key issue (see below - 1am is not an ideal time to discover this).

What have you been carrying?

Dogs, one 17-year old, one 15-year old, one 14-year old and one 11-year old. And one 6ft 2in, 52-year old with a dodgy hip that’s awaiting a replacement, so he is especially keen on the slightly higher seating in the Tonale compared with his Peugeot 508 SW estate. We’ve had a guitar stool in the boot this month, too, which was a gift from grandad to 11-year old to help him in his quest to become the next Brian May. And a set of golf clubs, with no expectation of any of them becoming the next Tiger Woods.

Delights?

My partner loves the Tonale. As well as the relative ease of getting in and out with a painful hip compared with his estate car, he feels the style and design of the SUV suit him better as a large, ex-rugby player. It’s definitely got more head room and leg room inside than the A3 saloon we’ve also got on test. My partner also put his foot down the other day as he pulled out in front of something and loved the acceleration, which took him by surprise. Can’t say I’ve experienced the same thing, but there you go.

Frustrations?

More a worry than a frustration: we’ve been unable to work out why, if the Tonale is unlocked, you don’t need the key to drive it. Which has posed an obvious security problem. And, as we accidentally discovered, we’ve been able to drive it as far as we like, turn off the engine and exit the car, then get back in the car, turn it on and drive it away again without the key. I discovered the first part when I took my youngest at 1am to his school coach for his trip abroad: I realised I didn’t have the key, so thought I shouldn’t turn off the engine because I wouldn’t be able to start the car again, so left it idling for 10 minutes (apologies to the people trying to sleep on that street) while we waited for the coach. My partner, however, also left the key at home when he took his son somewhere, didn’t realise and turned off the engine, but turned it on again with no problem. A quick call to Alfa solved it: turns out there’s a tiny spare fob which has been in the cup holder, unspotted (it’s that small) since the car arrived at ours, and which acts as a spare key. Weirdly, we’ve been able to lock it inside. But, phew, it could have been so much worse…

This month in a nutshell

Security worries about being able to start and drive the Tonale without the key have dominated this month, but the discovery of the world’s smallest secondary fob in the cup holder has solved the issue. Back to top

Erin says: "I've had a prang this month. Never ideal, obviously, but at least now I get to see what the body shop experience is like..."

How much has it cost you?

Well that's an easy one to answer: a £250 insurance excess. I've had a prang this month. The poor Tonale is now licking its wounds back at the body shop, waiting for a new front bumper. The Tonale and I "met" another woman in her Toyota halfway across the main road outside my house at about 20mph. It was 7am on a wet Monday morning and I'd just begun the school run. What a way to start the week. The only saving grace is that all damage is confined to the numberplate, which flew across the road and cracked in two, and the left-front bumper panel (the bumper comes in two parts either side of the number plate).

Where have you been?

About 500m, to the end of my little road and halfway across the main road.

What have you been carrying?

Just me and the 14-year-old this month, on our little journey to school, with his gym bag, school bag and football kit in the back.

Delights?

Collision damage confined to one bumper part... Always a relief. No worse feeling than staring at a scratch running across three body panels...

Frustrations?

From the crash? Probably shouldn't put that in writing.

This month in a nutshell

Painful Back to top

Erin says: "This month we’re driving a courtesy car from Alfa while our Tonale is being patched up (see previous diary entry). It’s an elegant Giulia, Alfa’s saloon, in red. We’ve got the 2.0-litre turbo petrol with 280 horsepower, in Veloce trim."

How much has it cost you?

We’ve had one dart charge fine in the car, reduced to £2.50 if paid in time for first-offence leeway, thank goodness, and have refuelled almost from empty it for just over £60.

Where have you been?

We’ve driven to from Tunbridge Wells to Doncaster and back in it, which is 210 miles each way. The trip was an absolute breeze; the Giulia is refined, understated and feels very grown-up to drive. The gear changes from the automatic transmission are motorsport-rapid but smooth, the steering is light but precise and you have easy access too all 280 horses.

What have you been carrying?

We’ve been to the dump, which is no mean feat with a saloon because the access to the boot is tight and obviously you can’t pile it high. But it is deep, which means we got in some knackered golf clubs and two ornamental trees in their tubs. We’ve taken three 5ft 11in teenagers (we did our annual christmas measure against the kitchen cupboard) in the back and front passenger seat, and none of them complained about leg or head room.

Delights?

Its driving manner is old-school Alfa, which we haven’t experienced for a while: precise footing, stable through the corners, spirited power delivery, rapid gear changes and beautifully weighted steering.

Frustrations?

This Giulia doesn’t have the Tonale’s most recent Alfa infotainment system (which is also shared by the other Stellantis brands - Jeep, Citroen, Vauxhall, Fiat, DS and Peugeot, although Peugeot’s overlayed graphic design is a cut above the rest), which is a shame. Back to top