The Alternative Auto Trader Awards 2024

Our imaginary awards for the things that kept us loving cars in 2024, from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Additional words by: Dan Trent

Published on 24 December 2024 | 0 min read

Here's a look at some of the car-based things that we've enjoyed most this year. The things that make us love doing this job. The funniest moments. The quirkiest names. The bafflingest endorsements. The... you get the idea.
Please take the following with a canny big pinch of salt.

Most literal new car name | Dacia Bigster

Mark says: "Now that nobody can tell one Lexus SUV from another, every new Audi is basically called “e-tron”, and Mercedes makes so many cars that its website takes longer to get to the bottom of than Boris Johnson's paternity file, it’s lovely to get a car whose name makes perfect sense. The Bigster is the biggest Dacia. Greatster. More of this sort of thing in 2025, please. That means you, Honda."

Open goal of the year | MG Cyberster

Dan says: “Remember when Elon Musk used to be just a fun guy promising us things like flying cars, rather than the guy who ruined a social media platform and got cringey with Donald Trump? Sadly, it seems those few distractions got in the way of him delivering the Tesla Roadster. He said it would be on sale in 2020, allegedly able to hit 60mph in less than two seconds... and actually fly. Like the DeLorean. Meanwhile, little-old MG, best known for its budget electric cars, beat Tesla to market with a genuinely desirable battery-powered roadster. Sure, the Cyberster can’t fly, even with its signature wing-like doors. But you can buy it.”

Best rEbRanD aNd rAnDOm uPPerCaSe leTTers | JaGUar

Mark says: "Jaguar are geniuses. Nobody would have cared about their stupid, never-gonna-happen, air-conditioning-unit-backside of a concept car if they hadn't hit the nuclear marketing button beforehand. While also having a syntax meltdown. But when was the last time a concept car made it onto the BBC News website? Exactly. I hope it all works out. Genuinely. Jaguar hasn't been cool or popular for about 900 years, but suddenly people are proper interested. And we also now have a whole car company whose very existence upsets people who use "woke" as a slur."

Funked up name change of the year | GWM ORA not-so-Funky Cat

Dan says: “Just as Jamiroquai’s '90s funk-lite noodlings were gifted a degree of curiosity value by lead singer Jay Kay’s drunk dad dance moves and comedy hats, so too the GWM Ora Funky Cat transcended otherwise boring foundations with cute looks and a novelty name. If not a great car it was at least cheering to live with, as much for the looks on people’s faces when you told them what it was. Then the virtual insanity of GWM Ora’s sudden rebranding of the Funky Cat to the decidedly unfunky 03 and loss of the one thing it really had going for it. But, hark, what’s that? GWM Ora has rebranded again and now dropped the Ora as well? Oh, right. Fear not, though, its sense of fun hasn’t entirely been forgotten, with confirmation its new mid-size SUV will be called the Haval Jolion Pro Hybrid. Until it isn’t, three weeks after it goes on sale.”

Best historical steering wheel comeback | Volkswagen Golf

Mark says: "Nobody knows why Volkswagen thought it was a good idea to replace perfectly functional steering wheel buttons with ‘haptic feedback’ panels that felt weird and didn’t work properly. Or how much Volkswagen spent doing it. But they lived and learned: people said the panels sucked, Volkswagen listened, and for the updated Golf, Volkswagen made like Cinderella after Prince Charming turned out to be an absolute cad: went crawling back to buttons."

Most tenuous celebrity endorsement | Eric Cantona and the Ford Capri

Dan says: “From TVR hiring 70s glamour model Susan Shaw to pose naked on one of its cars at a motor show to Lotus and its rogue’s gallery of ‘are they still even alive?’ movie stars at one of its previous rebirths, there’s a rich and bizarre history of car companies hiring random celebs to jazz up reveals for new product. So, to the launch this year of the new Ford Capri, the car parked centre stage with a chap moodily reading a book in an armchair beside it for no apparent reason. I stood mere feet away for a good half-hour without even realising it was Eric Cantona, his presence as the representative for the car still no clearer after he got up to the boast ‘the legend is back’, posed for some pictures and then cleared off. I remain none the wiser but, even as someone with minimal knowledge or interest in football, I did appreciate how the event staff had ‘Je suis Capri’ on their matching polo shirts. But embroidered under their collars, and only visible when they raised them, per Cantona’s signature on-pitch style back in the day.”

Most Baffling Interior lighting innovation | Skywell BE11

Mark says: "Ever been driving in the dark and wondered "you know what would make this journey more interesting? If the interior lights palpitated like the Christmas tree at Elton John’s Annual Festive Brunch." Well, buy a Skywell BE11 and wonder ye no more. Stick the lights into ‘rhythm mode’ (assuming you can work out how to do it on the daft touchscreen) and they'll pulse in time with whatever’s happening on the radio. Including people talking. And in all the colours. I might mention this to Euro NCAP, tbh."